1. Do you enjoy writing?

No. Usually writing for me is like breaking down and giving in to a deviant fetish. It doesn’t feel good, but you just couldn’t hold out any longer. I liken it to some poor soul who periodically can’t resist masturbating to a video of a basket of kittens. You give in, you get it out, you try not to beat yourself up about it too much.

2. What do you think the Pope’s feet taste like?

The Italian Truffle cheese at Trader Joe’s. Trust me.

3. What did you want to do before you got so weird?

I wanted to be normal. And hairless. But that was before I figured out how odd and boring that would be. Normal anyway. I could still go for hairless.

4. Name three things you would need in order to rule the world.

Booze, zips ties, and lip balm

5. How can someone get in touch with you?

Mr. Fingers is pretty shaky on taking voice messages these days. He’s battling a white powdery testicular parasite of some sort (send good thoughts?), and that just makes him not the go-to guy for catching calls anymore. It’s probably best to hit me up on email: blindmanlook [at] gmail [dot] com.